I've known the fear that holds me back – and what happens when I dare anyway. In this post, I share honestly about courage, doubt, and daring while my heart beats.
How to dare more in life – when fear is holding you back
Sometimes it's not the action itself that's the hardest part.
But think ahead. Dare is not about being brave all the time.
It's about hearing your heart speak louder than your fear – just long enough to take the first step.
When fear takes over
I carry memories with me. Words that were said. Looks that made me wince. Moments where I tried – and fell.
Or maybe worse: moments where I never tried at all.
It's not always the situation itself that I fear – but the feelings it can arouse. The shame if I fail. The sadness if I'm rejected.
The inner voice that asks: "What did you really think you were going to accomplish?"
So I'm waiting. For more courage. At the right time.
On something I don't quite know what is.
Do you remember the feeling of withdrawing before you've even tried?
Security or sabotage?
The fear of failure can be stronger than the desire to succeed.
I've known it. How I – consciously or unconsciously – set up little obstacles for myself, just to avoid the disappointment if it doesn't work out.
And then there's the security. The false calm of the familiar. The overview. The predictability. But this year I chose something different.
I'm going to stand on a stage and compete in the Bachata World Championships. Just writing that makes my stomach churn. Everything in me has been screaming: "Who do you think you are?"
But there is one voice that has been stronger: If I don't dare now – when will I dare?
Is there something in you that longs to take a chance – but is held back by the thought “who do I think I am?”
What it costs not to dry
We often talk about what we risk if we dare. But what about the price we pay for not doing so?
When I don't dare, it becomes quiet inside me. But not peaceful. It doesn't feel like security. It's stillness. A low-key sadness at having chosen not to do something I really wanted. And every time I let fear win, I lose a little piece of myself. Not because I failed – but because I didn't even try.
What have you chosen to give up in your life because you let fear take control? And how did it feel afterwards?
When I dare, something opens up
Every time I've done something I was afraid of, something new has opened up within me.
A door. A feeling of living more. I feel like I'm moving – not just physically on the dance floor, but inside me. That's why I do this. Not to win necessarily. But to feel alive.
To find out what lives inside me – and maybe inspire you to do the same.
What could open up for you if you dared to take the first step – even if you don't feel ready?
Courage lives in the small
We tend to think that being tired is about the big, dramatic moments.
But courage also lives in the everyday.
To dry can be to:
- send the message you've been thinking about for a long time
- walking alone into a room full of people
- say “I need this”
- stay when you usually pull away
- show something real – without filter
It's in these small choices that courage grows. Bit by bit. Until one day I stand on stage at the World Cup – and know that I got there one small decision at a time.
What is the least you could do today that would be a step towards what you really want?
Training the opposing muscle
I have been afraid all along. Afraid of being seen. Afraid of not being good enough. Afraid of failing in front of others. But every time I dare – something inside me becomes stronger. And now, in the middle of the World Cup preparations, I feel how important it is to train this “dry-muscle.”
I do it in every dance step. In every video clip I post. In every hour I practice, even when doubt whispers in my ear.
What could happen if you started practicing – little by little – wiping in your everyday life?
What helps me dry up?
When things storm inside me, I remind myself why I'm doing this.
I breathe. I play music. I dance. I talk to myself – like I would to a good friend. And sometimes I just whisper to myself:
“Okay. You’re scared. But you do it anyway.” And that's enough. Right then. Right there. It's not always about pushing yourself – but about supporting yourself.
For me, it's also about building a kind of inner security, day by day:
Choosing honesty. Taking care of my body. Giving myself breaks when I need them. Creating spaces where I feel like I belong – even within myself.
What makes you feel confident enough to be brave – even in small ways?
I am practicing.
I practice daring – again and again. To feel. To say yes.
To believe in myself, even when the voice inside me doubts. To go out on the floor even when my heart is pounding.
Because maybe it's not about winning – but about daring.
And every time I dare a little more, I get a little closer to myself.
What would you dare to do – if you let your heart decide?
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision that something else is more important than fear.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
To you, dear reader
Maybe you can also practice – on the little things you long for. On listening a little more to your heart. On standing in what feels real. Because it is not the absence of fear that makes us free. It is when we dare – even while our hearts are beating.
